EMBRACING THE LIFE YOU NEVER WANTED

EMBRACING THE LIFE YOU NEVER WANTED

life has a nasty habit of socking you in the mouth just when you’ve managed to get back up from the last time you fell on your face. or is that just me?

didn’t think so.

oh, sweet souls… life is hard, right? well, today, in the midst of a 30+ minute car ride, during which we had to pull over and pop some pills so I wouldn’t vomit up the small amount of food I’d managed to pack away, I had a revelation.

the past few days, which were supposed to be a vacation, have instead been full of sickness and emergency rooms. for the past three years, it’s felt like crap has rained down on us and broken us every time we thought we would catch our breath. and here’s the first part of my revelation:

you can’t wait for it to stop. you can’t even expect it to stop. 

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because, while it may sound depressing, the truth is that this world is desperately broken. the truth is that this world will take and take and take; it will break you into pieces, and, if you are looking for it, light will shine through those pieces and that light will be relief to your soul.  Continue reading “EMBRACING THE LIFE YOU NEVER WANTED”

THE PERSECUTION COMPLEX

ummmm… are you ready for a serious “ouch factor” right now, babes?

because that’s what I’m dropping today. (sorry not sorry)

as times change and new, unexplored emotional and spiritual territory enters our horizons, I’m seeing a more and more disturbing trend rising up within the walls of the American evangelical church. What is this trend? It’s the outcry of persecution.

now, here’s your disclaimer: this attitude is not in every church, for sure, and persecution is not always, in every situation, a complex. there are exceptions to nearly every rule. but today I’m referring to the rule, not to the exceptions. alright? alright.

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here’s what I see happening…
when the law of the land requires us to serve people we don’t like, or who we disagree with? persecution!
when someone makes a joke at our expense? persecution!
when we see a Babylon Bee article playfully pointing out the inconsistencies within our traditions? persecution!
when Starbucks rolls out Christmas cups with snowflakes? persecution!
when we see two people of the same gender getting married? persecution!
when we are informed that our behaviors towards marginalized groups are offensive, unkind, or harmful? persecution!
when someone tells us they are feeling persecuted by us? persecution! Continue reading “THE PERSECUTION COMPLEX”

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING & MATURING

hey babes!

I so love engaging with you here on this format & getting to hear from you all about your beautiful, brutal stories.

today I wanted to chat a bit about growth. maturity. and that ever-elusive feeling of having “arrived” at some mysterious destination.

actually, if I’m honest… I don’t think maturity & growth are destinations at all, but rather a habitual way of life. 

because I don’t think we ever “arrive” this side of the stars, babes. and that doesn’t have to be discouraging. on the contrary, I find it so very reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who hasn’t “arrived” at this mystical land of pristine emotional perfection. (can y’all holla with me?)

but because it’s not a destination, growth requires something of me in my current space. it requires change, and this kind of real and honest growth, this every deliberate step into maturity, requires that change in each and every present moment. 

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I think that a sure sign of maturity & growth is the discomfort of consistently and willingly entering into unknown and tension-filled spaces in ourselves.
Continue reading “HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING & MATURING”

HOUSE OF MYSTERY

babes!

I’ve got some truth bombs about your true identity to drop today. and I’ll be honest… they’re the truths carrying me through some serious mess & trial right now. because, that’s what truth does. it carries us through the bondage into freedom.

here’s the thing: you are a beautiful home.

you’re a precious, precious thing because of the things you house within your bones. because of the Truth that has made its home in your skin. because of the goodness you’ve been given to bear in the thumping thing behind your ribcage.

see, in the Scripture of 1 Peter, there’s a glorious reality that’s spoken: the truths that live in you, the gospel of grace that was prophesied over you and belongs to you, are the mysteries that angels gaze at in longing.

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how awe-inspiring that YOUR body… yes, this one which you mock and disrespect and struggle endlessly to love… is a carrying case for the weighty power of the Divine.

how humbling that YOU are housing the mysteries of the ages and your forever- ageless soul under the skin and between the bones of you?

how marvelous that each step that you take, wherever you choose to walk becomes holy ground because of the constant, reminding vibrations of the Spirit within you.

you are a house of mystery, my friend, and whatever the battering storms that wreak havoc on the outward structure… the inward spirit, the still small voice, the holy home that you are cannot be touched.

I’m just sitting with this and allowing the truth of this soothing tide to wash over my soul and bathe me in peace.
I need it right now, with all those battering storms waging war on my outward life.
I need it when I find myself drifting aimlessly and wondering where the direction is that I thought I had.
I need it when I forget who I am.

make this your mantra: I am a house of mystery, and the holiest of holy homes.

have you forgotten who you are, sweet soul?
be reminded.
be filled with the Spirit.
be who you already are.

CHILDLIKE FAITH? IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. REALLY.

BABES.

are you ready to talk about another one of those misused christian-ese phrases? the one I’ve got for you today is one that has blown my mind since I’ve stopped to think about what it actually means, underneath all of the perceived uses and baggage it perhaps carries. and now that I’ve soaked in all the goodness it actually holds, I’m juuuust a little obsessed with it.

sometimes we get it wrong. all of us. the problem comes when we take what we got wrong and use it to teach others. that’s what I believe happened with this really incredible teaching of Jesus.

if you’ve grown up or been around fundamentalist or evangelical circles for much of your life, you’ve probably heard the term “faith like a child” or “childlike faith” tossed around pretty frequently.

here’s where it comes from, in case you weren’t sure:

about that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn [change] and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. so anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. and anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
//matthew 18:1-5//

Jesus is all about living life like. a. child.

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this is often taken and only half of the meaning is used. little once are so full of dependence. they’re so completely in love with their parent, often mimicking every move and following every step.

but here’s the other thing…

if you’ve ever been around a toddler, you’ll know this: they ask all the questions. Continue reading “CHILDLIKE FAITH? IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. REALLY.”

THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE

hi babes.

it’s been a bit, huh?

lots of processing and healing and (I’ll be real) just plain craziness going down over here. and it’s GOOD. I’ve got some insane stuff that I’m currently working on which will be coming at you next month… and it is honestly just the culmination of some of the biggest dreams & greatest fears of my heart that I didn’t even know I had, y’all. so you’re not gonna want to miss it.

I thought it might be profitable for me to let you into the sweetness that is this journey for me, and to break open some of that breathlessness that has been rebuilding me…

because sometimes I need to be reminded that what comes to me is for me. that what takes part in my deconstruction does, by default, take part in my rebuilding. that all the things that are happening in me now are working to make a greater and more purposeful future that is so worth living.

what about you?

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I love the visualization of being the dwelling place of Grace & Truth.. a house in which the Divine feels at home… a residence for the Spirit of Peace. that is a picture that has always just spoken to me really deeply. and what’s lovely is that in the book of Haggai I get this whole new insight into what that could mean, into what it must mean, as I read about the people of God rebuilding the temple.

“the future glory of this house will be greater than the past glory… and in this place I will give you peace…” Haggai 2:9

Continue reading “THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE”

FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP

hey there family.

how’s your heart doing? how does life feel against your skin? how’s the weight on your shoulders?

heavy?

yeah… me, too.

because I’ve been struggling real fierce with the weight lately. with the heaviness of all that the world is. all that the Way is. all the healing and woundedness in the world.

I’ve been taking more pauses for deep breaths meant to cleanse and pause and bring shalom into my heart. more because there’s more to breathe against. more to fear. more wounds to bind up.

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the world is heavy, and the weight is fearsome, and the depth of the rawness of our humanity is leagues and leagues more so than the ocean. and we must find a way to breathe through it, to surrender to the healing, even as the arrows pierce our hearts.

and all the bitter hypocrisy, all the callous & graceless acts of others, all the hard work for more disappointment, all the exhaustion and survival, all the confusion and frustration of WHY IS THIS THE WAY IT IS… sometimes it just leaves me bruised & busted up in my soul. Continue reading “FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP”

LITTLE GIRL, ARISE

there’s a beautiful portion of Scripture that never fails to leave me just a little bit breathless & a lotta bit refreshed. it never fails to ground my soul deeper into the sweetest Foundation and put my heart to flight. seriously you guys. this is one conversation I am PUMPED to have with you, fam!

check this out from Mark chapter 5…

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there came from the ruler’s house some who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?” But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.” …and Jesus saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. And when he had entered, he said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where
the child was. Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” And immediately the girl got up and began walking, and they were immediately overcome with amazement.
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okay. lots, lots, lots to unpack here. (major understatement, amiright?) 😉 let’s tackle this.

we’re walking into a family in crisis here. there’s a little girl who is dying, and her family is terrified.

panicked.

desperate.

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ever been there in the total chaos of the soul? ever been there in the dying or the deadness of your spirit? Continue reading “LITTLE GIRL, ARISE”

10 (MORE) NOT SO TINY TRUTHS

a long time ago, I wrote a blog post called “10 not so tiny truths”, and it is still one of my favorites. it’s chalk-full of small, easy-to-remember truths for the days where you just can’t, you know?

well a lot of you really seemed to find a sense of solidarity and hope in that post, and today when I woke up totally askew & feeling all off, I realized it might be time to not just remind myself of those sweet old truths, but bring to light some new ones that I want to always remember. 

to read the previous list of ten not so tiny truths, all you have to do is click here.


here are TEN (MORE) NOT SO TINY TRUTHS:

1) there is enough grace (or forgiveness, or hope, or love, or _______) for all of us, and you don’t have to fear it running out.

2) it’s okay to stop watering the dead things.

3) you have been called “good & blessed”.

4) Jesus doesn’t regret saving you.

5) if you feel abandoned by churches or spirituality or religion or just love in general, remember… God seeks what has been driven away. 

6) you are allowed to change.

7) truth often divides before it binds.

8) nothing is ever wasted on Jesus.

9) just because you are soft does not mean you are not a force- honey and wildfire are both the color of gold. // Victoria Erickson

10) mercy triumphs over judgement.

tuck these small & powerful truths into your heart. save the link. share the post. copy them into your journal. write them in sharpie on your arms. you do you, sister. 

but remember them well, and recall them when you are floundering in doubt, in fear, in shame, in loneliness, in insecurity, in forgetfulness, in depression, in the in-between.

remember them always, and repeat them to your heart and to the hearts of your sisters and brothers. breathe fresh air into these truths as you turn them over and over and manifest them in your life. 

I’ll be here with you… repeating, ruminating, manifesting.

xoxo

YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY

ever had someone tell you that you “just need to have more faith”?

aside from being kind of judgy & just plain unhelpful (that’s a blog post for an entirely different time), it’s biblically inaccurate and impossible. yeah, you did actually read that correctly. 😉 and there’s an overflowing amount of freedom that comes with no longer striving for this imaginary amount of faith you have to reach in order to no longer be deemed “less than” or “not enough” by humanity.

I mean, let’s take it back and actually look at scripture, okay?

“For I say, through the grace that was given me… think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.”
romans 12:3

did you catch that? yeah, you’ve already been given every ounce of faith you need, planted deep in your soul since the moment you said “yes” to healing. it’s already been measured out, and Divine Love didn’t shortchange you. I promise.

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you don’t need “more faith”, because Jesus doesn’t deprive us of what our souls need.
you don’t need “more faith”, because you weren’t haphazardly tossed together.
you don’t need “more faith”, because the power of grace didn’t run out before it got to you.
you don’t need “more faith”, because Divine Love doesn’t allow you to suffer meaninglessly.
you don’t need “more faith”, because He isn’t dangling it in front of your nose, then handing it to someone else. Continue reading “YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY”