RESCUE. POWER. STRENGTH. // THE TRAGIC, MARVELOUS STORY OF WOMEN

being a woman is a mysterious, beautiful, tragic, marvelous, wild, unique adventure. I love being a woman, and I think it’s a wonderful, incomprehensible gift. but at the same time, the world we live in is not female-friendly.

the world we live in mocks what they consider feminine and celebrates what they call masculine. (of course, everyone seems to have different ideas of what those terms even mean…) the world puts men in the spotlight and women behind the scenes. women are seen as simply bodies with a service-oriented attitude, while men are seen as conquerors and victors, (basically mini gods) deserving of pride and all respect.

in fact, a man (or even woman, it seems…) doing anything “like a girl” is seen as a huge insult. and it is- it’s an insult of the most gross kind to every woman that has ever drawn breath on this planet. it’s an insult because throughout their brutalized, silenced, and struggling history, women are possibly the most resilient, brave, and powerful creatures who exist.

the “role” of women may be vastly different than what you’ve always thought. for me, it goes all the way back to the book of Genesis in scripture. in fact, it goes all the way back to the very creation of woman.


because God forms this beautiful human from a part of Adam, and then God calls her the helper of man. for so many people, the story just stops there. “yeah, woman is helper. okay.” but no.

because there’s a richness and a depth in these verses that’s only revealed when you look a little closer into the actual language in which is was written.

because the word translated “helper” is actually a Hebrew word that has no English equivalent.

because, of course.

of course God is doing something deeper & sweeter & more glorious than simply creating a human assistant. Continue reading “RESCUE. POWER. STRENGTH. // THE TRAGIC, MARVELOUS STORY OF WOMEN”

THE HOLY TENSION

oh, have I got some real-life stuff for you babes… grab that coffee and a snuggly blanket because we’re about to get real like woah.

I’m learning some wild things right now, things I never wanted to learn. and as my perspective & viewpoint shifts, I’m finding heart-wrenching lessons about the reality of God, the identity of myself, and the breath of the whole world.

and here’s what I’m discovering: the magic of life, the maturity of the soul, and the strange comfort Jesus displayed with contradictions-that-aren’t-actually-contradictions are all wrapped around one thing… living in holy tension.

tension.

probably one of our least favorite words. we avoid it, lash out at it, stuff it under rugs and behind closed doors, all the while not realizing that tension is a precious ally. all the while not realizing that our fear, avoidance, and anger towards it, is making it into a monster it never was.

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we, unfortunately, see tension as inherently evil, when in reality it’s an invitation. an offering of welcome into a space where we can begin to heal as deeply as we’ve been wounded, begin to find peace. Continue reading “THE HOLY TENSION”

10 AFFIRMATIONS FOR SURVIVORS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE

hey loves!

I announced a bit ago on instagram that the blog would be slowing down due to unforeseen & life-uprooting circumstances. perhaps someday I will be able to shine a bit of a light on the horrifying, healing, disastrous, delightful, unwanted, unbelievable journey we’re currently on… but as a wise woman once said (love you, G!): write from your scars, not your fresh wounds.

so… I’m just gently taking this journey day by day in the most loving & grace-filled way I know how. we shall see where it leads. 🙂

I’ve talked a little bit in the past about what spiritual abuse is and how we can recognize it & combat it in our faith families.

but today I woke up and decided all I wanted was to offer up a bit of encouragement and hope for those who might be leaving a situation where they experienced spiritual abuse… to those who are trying to heal from the hell they experienced, to those who have walked away & feel completely disillusioned by it all.

10 AFFIRMATIONS FOR SURVIVORS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE. 

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  1. I am loved by someone Higher than my abuser.
  2. I am safe.
  3. I am healing, and I will heal.
  4. I am not their perception of me.
  5. I am a human being- more precious than their theology.
  6. I am full of hope.
  7. I choose to reclaim my beliefs, separate from their lies.
  8. I choose to believe that God is for me.
  9. I choose to deconstruct.
  10. I choose to be who I am.

LIONESS

I am a lioness
I am rising with a roar
and I will shake you.

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I have no mane,
no mark of power
only the courage in my veins.

I hold my ground
I defend my pride.
on those who endanger, I bear down.

I am a lioness
I am feral; I am graceful.
I am full of beautiful, dangerous wild.

I am protector
I have not been reborn
only to be tamed and made small.

I am soft & fierce.
never one without the other
I am a force of healing and of power.

I am a lioness
I hold creation in my womb
and I will bear it.

I am unrelenting
I do not give up.
I do not crumble when the weight is heavy.

I carry my tribe
on the curve of my spine,
on the curve of my awakened learning.

I am a lioness
I carve trails in wasteland.
I lead my pride to safety and hope.

I pound the dust
with a powerful tread
and all the desert knows my steps.

I do not hide
I have no reason for that
I am the exalt-er of those who shrink

you are a lioness
you are rising with a roar
and you will shake us all.

THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE

hi babes.

it’s been a bit, huh?

lots of processing and healing and (I’ll be real) just plain craziness going down over here. and it’s GOOD. I’ve got some insane stuff that I’m currently working on which will be coming at you next month… and it is honestly just the culmination of some of the biggest dreams & greatest fears of my heart that I didn’t even know I had, y’all. so you’re not gonna want to miss it.

I thought it might be profitable for me to let you into the sweetness that is this journey for me, and to break open some of that breathlessness that has been rebuilding me…

because sometimes I need to be reminded that what comes to me is for me. that what takes part in my deconstruction does, by default, take part in my rebuilding. that all the things that are happening in me now are working to make a greater and more purposeful future that is so worth living.

what about you?

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I love the visualization of being the dwelling place of Grace & Truth.. a house in which the Divine feels at home… a residence for the Spirit of Peace. that is a picture that has always just spoken to me really deeply. and what’s lovely is that in the book of Haggai I get this whole new insight into what that could mean, into what it must mean, as I read about the people of God rebuilding the temple.

“the future glory of this house will be greater than the past glory… and in this place I will give you peace…” Haggai 2:9

Continue reading “THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE”

SOFTENED LIKE SAND

goodness is doing its work in me, and it’s face looks a lot like trial.

every time I go to the beach I spend the first day clinging to the sand. terrified of the waves and the way they crash, white foam sputtering, into themselves. flinging bits of sand and seaweed into the salty air. thrashing upon the shore like violent fists coming down hard on a pillow of gritty sand.

perhaps it’s childish. perhaps I’m just not very brave.

but they scare me at first. every time. no matter how old I get.

I imagine getting thrashed and pummeled by those angry fists of water and foam. imagine getting dragged like a rake through turbulent under-currents. just thinking about it sends little spurts of anxiety, like lightning, through my chest.

ah, yes. goodness is doing its work in me, and it feels a lot like being drowned, sputtering and gurgling, to the bottom of a swirling ocean.

and if I’m honest… the shore feels so much safer, so much objectively smarter, so much kinder to a battered & waterlogged heart.

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but the sand is only smooth from being softened.

and I am only gentle from being rubbed the wrong way till all my sharp edges are gone.  Continue reading “SOFTENED LIKE SAND”

FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP

hey there family.

how’s your heart doing? how does life feel against your skin? how’s the weight on your shoulders?

heavy?

yeah… me, too.

because I’ve been struggling real fierce with the weight lately. with the heaviness of all that the world is. all that the Way is. all the healing and woundedness in the world.

I’ve been taking more pauses for deep breaths meant to cleanse and pause and bring shalom into my heart. more because there’s more to breathe against. more to fear. more wounds to bind up.

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the world is heavy, and the weight is fearsome, and the depth of the rawness of our humanity is leagues and leagues more so than the ocean. and we must find a way to breathe through it, to surrender to the healing, even as the arrows pierce our hearts.

and all the bitter hypocrisy, all the callous & graceless acts of others, all the hard work for more disappointment, all the exhaustion and survival, all the confusion and frustration of WHY IS THIS THE WAY IT IS… sometimes it just leaves me bruised & busted up in my soul. Continue reading “FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP”

LITTLE GIRL, ARISE

there’s a beautiful portion of Scripture that never fails to leave me just a little bit breathless & a lotta bit refreshed. it never fails to ground my soul deeper into the sweetest Foundation and put my heart to flight. seriously you guys. this is one conversation I am PUMPED to have with you, fam!

check this out from Mark chapter 5…

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there came from the ruler’s house some who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?” But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.” …and Jesus saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. And when he had entered, he said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where
the child was. Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” And immediately the girl got up and began walking, and they were immediately overcome with amazement.
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okay. lots, lots, lots to unpack here. (major understatement, amiright?) 😉 let’s tackle this.

we’re walking into a family in crisis here. there’s a little girl who is dying, and her family is terrified.

panicked.

desperate.

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ever been there in the total chaos of the soul? ever been there in the dying or the deadness of your spirit? Continue reading “LITTLE GIRL, ARISE”

MONDAY MANTRA // WE’RE BRAVELY BECOMING

today, for our day off, J and I got coffee and then drove the 2 hours out to Hurricane Ridge. we hiked it almost all the way, and drove the twisty roads back down the mountain to flat, straight road once again. 

you will only realize that this is a big deal if you are one of the few who know me well.

mountain roads terrify me. the edges of trails where you can look down the plummeting mountainside to the valley below are SCARY. and yet, I love mountains and rocks and trees. I love the wide expanse looking out over the peaks and folds of earth and soaking in the bigness of it all. but I’ve never had either the opportunity nor the gumption to hike a mountain until we moved to the Pacific Northwest. 

I may have ridden in the backseat and closed my eyes during the final trek of road. I may have not made it all the way up the last nearly-vertical stretch of path. I may have not had the courage to dangle my legs over empty expanse. 

but I had the courage to go. to do a thing that scared me. to look it in the face and decide the reward was worth the risk. 


today was all about making the next right move in the journey to bravely become. 

and that’s what matters. 

Monday Mantra // bravely become

If you’re not growing- not becoming -then what you’re doing isn’t worth it. let’s carve out space for becoming this week, and continuously preach the truth to ourselves- bravely become

it’s all about breathing into the tight spaces and making more room for the person you are meant to be. it’s all about holding space for your own healing and being gentle with the process of breaking down and building up. if you’re doing that, you’re doing it right!

I wrote a whole 21-day Scripture study about this that will be available for pre-order this SATURDAY if you want to begin to make a whole-hearted commitment to this idea of becoming. I’m so excited about it all!

happy Monday, and happy new week to you all.

getting free from the bondage of TOXIC PEOPLE (what no one tells you)

ugh.

this topic.

this topic is the worst you guys.

no really, I actually hate it.

knowing the difference between a toxic person & a person you just don’t gel with is sometimes really tough. and in our “It’s all about MEEEEE” world, it’s easy to just start labeling people without much wisdom or thought. definitely not cool. (also, you would kind of start to become that toxic “label-er”, and no one wants to be that guy.)

so, here are 6 signs your friend is toxic… with strategies to set you (both) free ❤

TOXIC STUFF

1.) THE PROBLEM: the “too busy for you” toxic friend
she only texts you when she’s having a bad day, only calls you when disaster strikes, only wants to hang out when the world is ending. but they make sure to let you know that you’re crazy for thinking that. she’s just busy, right? there’s just a lot going on right now… surely you understand?
THE STRATEGY: don’t let their bad days run your life. they only contact you because they know you’re the only one who will drop everything to come to their aid… even though you haven’t talked in months.
if you’re busy, let them know. “sorry, I can’t help right now, but let me see what’s on my calendar, and I will let you know.”
set a time. don’t let them suck you in for hours on end. spend the time on them that you would with anyone else, and then go on with what you have to do.
Continue reading “getting free from the bondage of TOXIC PEOPLE (what no one tells you)”