HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING & MATURING

hey babes!

I so love engaging with you here on this format & getting to hear from you all about your beautiful, brutal stories.

today I wanted to chat a bit about growth. maturity. and that ever-elusive feeling of having “arrived” at some mysterious destination.

actually, if I’m honest… I don’t think maturity & growth are destinations at all, but rather a habitual way of life. 

because I don’t think we ever “arrive” this side of the stars, babes. and that doesn’t have to be discouraging. on the contrary, I find it so very reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who hasn’t “arrived” at this mystical land of pristine emotional perfection. (can y’all holla with me?)

but because it’s not a destination, growth requires something of me in my current space. it requires change, and this kind of real and honest growth, this every deliberate step into maturity, requires that change in each and every present moment. 

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I think that a sure sign of maturity & growth is the discomfort of consistently and willingly entering into unknown and tension-filled spaces in ourselves.
Continue reading “HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE GROWING & MATURING”

SOFTENED LIKE SAND

goodness is doing its work in me, and it’s face looks a lot like trial.

every time I go to the beach I spend the first day clinging to the sand. terrified of the waves and the way they crash, white foam sputtering, into themselves. flinging bits of sand and seaweed into the salty air. thrashing upon the shore like violent fists coming down hard on a pillow of gritty sand.

perhaps it’s childish. perhaps I’m just not very brave.

but they scare me at first. every time. no matter how old I get.

I imagine getting thrashed and pummeled by those angry fists of water and foam. imagine getting dragged like a rake through turbulent under-currents. just thinking about it sends little spurts of anxiety, like lightning, through my chest.

ah, yes. goodness is doing its work in me, and it feels a lot like being drowned, sputtering and gurgling, to the bottom of a swirling ocean.

and if I’m honest… the shore feels so much safer, so much objectively smarter, so much kinder to a battered & waterlogged heart.

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but the sand is only smooth from being softened.

and I am only gentle from being rubbed the wrong way till all my sharp edges are gone.  Continue reading “SOFTENED LIKE SAND”

SPIRITUAL ABUSE // WHAT IT IS & HOW TO GET FREE

hey fam!

today I want to chat with you about a topic that can be really triggering and scary for some of us. it’s been weighing on my heart & I want to just get this truth out of me and shed some light on it okay?

many of us are probably familiar with the terms of sexual abuse/domestic abuse/emotional abuse… these are all deeply dehumanizing and disturbing behaviors that need to be called out & shut down. but something that so many people I know have been a victim of, and which most people don’t even seem to realize exists, is a despicable thing called spiritual abuse.

what is spiritual abuse?

spiritual abuse comes in many forms and wears many disguises. it can be subtle and hard to recognize or loud and blatant. here are just a few ways it can read its ugly head…

MISUSE OF SCRIPTURE

spiritual abuse most often happens when people throw around scripture incorrectly and without reverence, such as using it: out of context, to shame, to ostracize, to excuse or perpetrate cruel behaviors, to prove a point, to shut down a conversation, to silence, to blame, to mock, to build their high horse, to belittle, to brush off, to shrink your pain, to avoid the topic, to divert attention away from their own faults, with condescension, with anger, without kindness… the list could go on. the bottom line here is this: if you have ever been belittled, shamed, brushed off, silenced, or made to feel like your pain was irrelevant with quoted scripture, you have been a victim of spiritual abuse.


THE NARROW ROAD COMPLEX Continue reading “SPIRITUAL ABUSE // WHAT IT IS & HOW TO GET FREE”

YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY

ever had someone tell you that you “just need to have more faith”?

aside from being kind of judgy & just plain unhelpful (that’s a blog post for an entirely different time), it’s biblically inaccurate and impossible. yeah, you did actually read that correctly. 😉 and there’s an overflowing amount of freedom that comes with no longer striving for this imaginary amount of faith you have to reach in order to no longer be deemed “less than” or “not enough” by humanity.

I mean, let’s take it back and actually look at scripture, okay?

“For I say, through the grace that was given me… think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.”
romans 12:3

did you catch that? yeah, you’ve already been given every ounce of faith you need, planted deep in your soul since the moment you said “yes” to healing. it’s already been measured out, and Divine Love didn’t shortchange you. I promise.

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you don’t need “more faith”, because Jesus doesn’t deprive us of what our souls need.
you don’t need “more faith”, because you weren’t haphazardly tossed together.
you don’t need “more faith”, because the power of grace didn’t run out before it got to you.
you don’t need “more faith”, because Divine Love doesn’t allow you to suffer meaninglessly.
you don’t need “more faith”, because He isn’t dangling it in front of your nose, then handing it to someone else. Continue reading “YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY”

CHANGELING // FINDING YOURSELF IN THE UPROOTING

come sit for a minute.

I’ve got the fire going so it’s all aflame and crackling, spitting sparks up into the chimney.
the little cast iron kettle is hot and bubbling, and I’ve got a mug here ready to be filled with tea meant for cradling in chilly hands.
there are candles burning, and the tree lights are all soft and twinkly.

it’s a space made just for long chats and secrets spilled and hands clasped.

and I want to chat with you about something.
something big & deep & intimate & loud.
something I’ve been feeling my way into and out of and around as I grow and become and discover.
something I’ve been tasting on my tongue, breathing out in every shaky exhale.

this is something that changes everything.

you, my love, are a peculiar creature.
shifting & resplendent as the tide.
ebbing & flowing to newness and delight and sorrow.
restless & vagrant as the wind.
whispering and screaming through the world with unbroken tumblings.
tidal. rolling. unsettled. transformable.

you, my love, are a changeling.
this fluidity is your gift, your offering, your dynamism.
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do not forget, dear friend, that you are never stuck.
you are never without the freedom of choice in your own heart… of the still small voice that calls you to choose a new way, a different way, a better way. Continue reading “CHANGELING // FINDING YOURSELF IN THE UPROOTING”

the untidy grace guide to making the most of january

HAPPY 2016!!
okay okay.
I know.

I’m 11 days late.

I took an initially unintentional hiatus from the blogosphere. I say initially because I didn’t intend to stay away this long. and then I realized I needed to.

I love you all dearly, and I love writing on here and sharing all the things… from the deep places in my heart to the outrageously hysterical to the everyday practical & monotonous. I love it!

but then life happened, and it was wild (in good and bad ways), and then God spoke big truths to my heart through some beautiful humans in my life. and I realized I needed to step back and process. I needed to take a deep breath and re-evaluate why I do this. why I love this. why it matters to me. I needed a few days to just soak in His wisdom and breathe out grace over myself.

I never thought I’d be that blogger who got too obsessed with her views, who got too into figuring out how to make money, who was almost ready to sacrifice the authenticity of her blog because she was in a tight spot. and yet I became that girl. I started to lose sight of why I felt the strain on my heart to begin a blog in the first place. I started determining my worth by the numbers I found when I logged into wordpress, and I started to feel awfully sucky about myself when I didn’t feel like I measured up.

no more, guys. I’m done with being that girl. it’s back to the Moriah who loves what she writes and writes what she loves and isn’t going to post something for the sake of posting. It’s back to the girl who listens intently for God’s voice to see what HE would have her write! I’ve missed her! 😉

not to say there won’t be a whole parade of fun, practical, or real-life posts, (because there so will be!!) but they will have purpose, and they’ll adhere to the whole reason I started this blog in the first place. ❤

so… without further to do…
the untidy grace guide to making the most of january.

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January starts off with high expectations & exciting promises of newness and change. but by the end of the month, so often we are feeling more like same old, same old than full of new life.

here are a few ways to make the most of the new year in January & keep on feeling that breath of new life.

  1. make a schedule… and stick to it.
    decide what time you’re going to get up, and then set your alarm and GET UP. decide what you’re going to eat for breakfast, and have it all ready to go in the morning. schedule everything… your study time, your bible time, your workout. if it’s written down, you’re much more likely to do it. when you get things done, you’ll feel productive! speaking of which…
  2. buy a planner.
    you know, to schedule everything in. 😉 make sure to get one that you can comfortably tote around in your purse or bag. take this guy everywhere. you never know who might ask you to coffee or when the office might need to schedule and unexpected appointment.
  3. take a few moments to breathe.
    I like to do this when I first wake up in the morning. sit cross legged on the edge of the bed and take some deep, energizing breaths. (4 seconds in, pause, 6 seconds out is a good place to start.) you’ll feel recharged, full of energy, and calm to face the day.
  4. pick a mantra/intention/focus for the day/week/month
    my journal (which I got for an easy $15 from target!) has a place to write a special note or focus for the year, the month, and the week. I take advantage of this!! pick a short and encouraging saying, inspirational song lyric, or part of Scripture, and use it as your “anthem” for however long you decide. repeat it to yourself to give you an extra boost of inspiration, set the tone for the day, or get you through a rough moment.
    **mine for this week comes from the good old song Amazing Grace, which we sang in church yesterday: His word, my hope secures**
  5. take care of yourself
    take that extra three minutes to slather on your favorite lotion after you get out of the shower. buy a cute water bottle to remind yourself to stay hydrated. learn to use essential oils to help your body heal naturally. take five when you need to.
  6. get in the Word.
    schedule that time with Jesus. every. single. day. no exceptions. you will not regret this.
  7. dedicate time to your dearest relationships.
    make time for the people who mean the most to you. even if it’s just a quick coffee date. they matter. create the time to show them that in ways that matter to them. hold onto the people that are important by being intentional about loving and doing life with them.
  8. learn something new
    whether it’s picking up yoga or trying a new recipe, try a new thing. make progress. add to the rich and beautiful tapestry that is who you are!

5 reasons to be thankful for where you are & who you are RIGHT NOW

as Thanksgiving not-so-slowly creeps up on us (um, ONE WEEK what?!), and we begin the frantic dance of whose house, which recipes, can you take off work, the cousins are flying in… etc, etc… I thought that now would be a good time to pause and truly be thankful for the nitty gritty.

not my friends and family (though I’m out-of-this-world thankful for them, too), not my job (though God really blesses us through it), not any of the other overly-rehearsed phrases & answers you can repeat without batting an eye… the real, the hard, the in-between that we don’t always share and aren’t always content with or proud of.

can we stop and be thankful for that, too?

I’m going to.

and here are 5 reasons that you should, too: Continue reading “5 reasons to be thankful for where you are & who you are RIGHT NOW”