if you haven’t read my last post or you have nooo idea what this whole #metoo thing is all about… go read it now! I’ll wait 😉
as I’m sure you can tell, I am a thousand billion percent on board with the genius bravery that is the #metoo movement. I’m thankful that finally, a platform is being given to every woman who has ever suffered the humiliation of sexual harassment, assault, or abuse.
I’m thankful for the push to share my story.
but something happened on Tuesday as I pressed publish, and as I scrolled through my newsfeed, and as I talked with suffering survivors, that chilled me to my bones and set a wild fury in me. something started coming to light that left me physically ill and shaking with a holy rage.
shame. embarrassment. a need to explain themselves. covering their tracks. plentiful recognitions of “but so many other people have t worse”. an over-emphasis on why their abuser/attacker/harasser isn’t that bad of a person.
do you understand how utterly disturbing that is?
as women we are trained to be in a constant state of lowliness. we default the blame to ourselves because that is what we have been taught to do.
we literally end up carrying the shame & guilt for the dehumanizing actions done TO US.
we carry the weight of the abused and the abuser.
and it’s wrong. so wrong.
it was an astonishing amount of women who felt guilty posting their story or even those two simple words: me too.
why would we feel guilty? we didn’t want to make our abusers look bad, didn’t want them to be embarrassed, didn’t want them to have to deal with the torture we’ve been enduring, surviving, silently for years.
it’s conditioning. it’s rape culture.
as I pushed published, my stomach lurched. I was terrified. not that people would know what happened to me, but that people would question me, that people would attack my abuser, that people would roll their eyes at my “need for attention”, that people would suggest I wanted it to happen, that proof of some sort would be demanded of me… the list goes on.
I. should. not. be. the. frightened. one.
the abusers should be the ones afraid & embarassed to let these secrets find the light, NOT the ones abused.
the abused/assaulted/harassed should feel SAFE in the exposing of this darkness, not condemned, not afraid, not embarrassed.
this disturbing twisting of who is to blame in the event of abuse/assault/harassment is one of the most blatant views of rape culture.
until we remove the blame from the battered shoulders of the victims & survivors, and place it on those who actually committed the acts of violence and violation, we will never succeed in respecting or elevating women… or even at the very least recognizing & honoring their humanity.
if you’re silently whispering “me too”, know you are so loved, so believed, and so innocent of this evil that has been done to you.
you are worthy of your healing.