babes!! it’s 2018… can you even believe it?
there were moments of 2017 that I wasn’t even sure I’d see the light of a new year (let’s be real… so did you). it’s just the truth… it was a hell of a year.
my word of the year for 2017 was WHOLE, and I really dug into that and looked at all the parts of myself to see how I could bring the disjointed pieces into harmony. I started to recognize & affirm each of the places in me and call them into the light: my emotional, intellectual, physical, social, environmental, sexual, and spiritual facets. and SO MUCH HAPPENED, babes. I got so much more whole & free this year. I understand myself on such a deeper level than I did at the beginning of last year, and I really do think it’s because my focus was on wholeness. ❤
this year a lot of things died and a few good things were born.
in 2017 I…
went from a pastor’s wife to an eXvangelical.
didn’t pray for 3 months.
recreated my entire blog.
brought my abuse into the light…
…and both verbally forgave & cut off all contact with my abuser.
couldn’t bring myself to pick up a Bible, except for some of the content of the gospels, for 4 months.
became a mother through the most torturous, redeeming labor.
became a feminist.
…and gained friends.
gained a deeper knowledge of myself as I discovered the Enneagram.
became a believer in universal reconciliation.
started writing poetry again.
began studying Reiki.
stopped believing humanity is inherently depraved the moment I looked into the eyes of my newborn daughter… but didn’t own that truth until months later.
stepped into my power and owned it personally.
found myself, became myself.
began to find joy in every part of God & my spiritual life for the first time I can remember.
climbed literal mountains.
climbed metaphorical mountains.
read loads of books & listened to countless podcasts.
began meditating more consistently.
and more… more… more…
babes, 2017 was mind blowing.
I’m going to write more about my labor with my daughter, and how it sent shock waves of beauty & pain through the rest of my year, but for now I really want to tell you about my word of the year and the intimate, strange way I found it. ❤
toward the end of this past year I really felt my intuition waning. I couldn’t hear it speaking to me. I was so out of tune with that still, small voice. it was so frustrating, because my intuition is such a big part of who I am; it’s such a huge piece of my personality. I’ve always relied on it, and suddenly- perhaps by trauma or exhaustion or something else entirely– it went silent. or maybe I just couldn’t hear it.
either way, have you ever felt an important piece of yourself fade? it’s painful.
I was even more irritated because it was coming time to discover my 2018 word of the year, which is something I rely heavily on my intuition to guide me toward.
it was very dis-empowering, and I considered just not doing a word this year.
ready to give up because you couldn’t find yourself?
until I realized something. every word I had felt drawn to, or had held onto wonderingly, was similar in some way to the rest.
they all surrounded listening to that still, small voice.
and raising up my own voice.
and amplifying the voices of the silenced minorities around me.
I’ve never had sub-words under my word of the year before (ha!), but it just feels right and makes so much sense for me right now. 😉
I’m delving into each of the facets of my life, and seeing how I can listen to, raise, and amplify the voices in & around me.
I don’t know what it will all look like yet, but I am so excited, and so ready to see what this will manifest in me!
I can’t wait to see the behind-the-scenes threads of healing that Divine Love is weaving for me in my life.
just the idea of my VOICE being explored and intensified makes me want to howl with freedom and hope.
I can’t wait to meet the person I will be when this year is over & we ring in 2019!
what’s YOUR word for 2018?
I would love to hear it!