oh, have I got some real-life stuff for you babes… grab that coffee and a snuggly blanket because we’re about to get real like woah.

I’m learning some wild things right now, things I never wanted to learn. and as my perspective & viewpoint shifts, I’m finding heart-wrenching lessons about the reality of God, the identity of myself, and the breath of the whole world.

and here’s what I’m discovering: the magic of life, the maturity of the soul, and the strange comfort Jesus displayed with contradictions-that-aren’t-actually-contradictions are all wrapped around one thing… living in holy tension.


probably one of our least favorite words. we avoid it, lash out at it, stuff it under rugs and behind closed doors, all the while not realizing that tension is a precious ally. all the while not realizing that our fear, avoidance, and anger towards it, is making it into a monster it never was.


we, unfortunately, see tension as inherently evil, when in reality it’s an invitation. an offering of welcome into a space where we can begin to heal as deeply as we’ve been wounded, begin to find peace.

the best things in life are so-called contradictions.
it carries the highest highs and the lowest lows.
it offers protection, yet calls us to sacrifice of self.
it brings intimacy, but demands vulnerability.

it brings us into newness, but requires us to leave the old.
it offers hope, but needs us to let go of bitterness.
it holds seconds chances and a free-er future, if only we will shake off the chains of our bondage.

the king of peace, who brought a metaphorical sword.
the teacher of patience, who flipped tables in righteous anger.
the man, who was also God.

tension is in the deconstruction, in the inspection of everything you’ve believed… knowing that though what you thought you knew seems to be crumbling, there is a great and solid foundation beneath it all.

tension is in the yearning for wisdom, not knowing when you ought to pursue or wait patiently… it’s the waiting, the in-between, the limbo period.

tension is in the battle for your anger… whether you will give it rashly or righteously, who you will pour it out on, how it will flow from your soul.

tension is in the true walking out of your theology… if you will dare to truly love as freely and unashamedly as Jesus did, or if you will become silent, small, and unkind from the pressure, the spiritual abuse, or the legalism pressed down upon you.


see, the true sign of spiritual & emotional character flourishing is whether we are willing to live inside tension without desperation, panic, or frantically attempting to escape it.

it’s about being willing to learn what the tension has to teach us.
it’s about seeing it for what it is and knowing that it cannot harm who you are inside.
it’s about allowing it to happen within you, without using it as a weapon around you.
it’s about trusting that this too shall pass, and until then you are safe, growing, metamorphosing.

tension happens when we don’t know what to do, or we don’t have all of the answers we want, or we feel stuck in a space we don’t understand.

flourishing happens when we make peace with those realities and give ourselves permission to blossom within them. from them. here. now.

it’s so hard.
it just is.
there’s honestly no other way to put it, because these things simply are not easy in any way, shape, or form.

I struggle with it. I fight for my peace. I work for my flourishing.

it’s so, so worth it. ❤
oh, friend… please choose to flourish.
please choose to live in the holy tension.

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