EMBRACING THE LIFE YOU NEVER WANTED

life has a nasty habit of socking you in the mouth just when you’ve managed to get back up from the last time you fell on your face. or is that just me?

didn’t think so.

oh, sweet souls… life is hard, right? well, today, in the midst of a 30+ minute car ride, during which we had to pull over and pop some pills so I wouldn’t vomit up the small amount of food I’d managed to pack away, I had a revelation.

the past few days, which were supposed to be a vacation, have instead been full of sickness and emergency rooms. for the past three years, it’s felt like crap has rained down on us and broken us every time we thought we would catch our breath. and here’s the first part of my revelation:

you can’t wait for it to stop. you can’t even expect it to stop. 

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because, while it may sound depressing, the truth is that this world is desperately broken. the truth is that this world will take and take and take; it will break you into pieces, and, if you are looking for it, light will shine through those pieces and that light will be relief to your soul. 

and you have to be okay with being broken. no… more than that. you have to accept that it simply is what it is. and that you cannot keep waiting for it to be over to begin your life.

yeah… in the middle of a full-on gastritis attack, I slammed my fists into the dash and just whisper-screamed (you babes know that’s a thing) “I’m not letting this ish win.”

because this is the truth babes: it’s not acceptable to wait for the crap storm to end before you live your life.
there will never be a “better” time. there will never be a “convenient” time. there probably won’t even be a “smart” time.
there is only now. 
there is only this time, this moment.
maybe it doesn’t feel like an opportunity. make it an opportunity.

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because I’m not waiting any more, babes. I’m so done. I am just so, so done with the waiting for the time to be right. I’m done waiting for the crazy storm to let down. I’m done waiting for the break, for the shining opportunity, for the breather, for the just-right-moment.

I’M DONE.

and you should be, too.

let’s just do the thing we were made to do.

no more worrying about this or that. no more staying quiet. no more being afraid of other humans. no more living out of dissatisfaction. 

let’s just stop, okay.

let’s just stop waiting.

the perfect time doesn’t fricking exist. it just doesn’t

the perfect time is right now.

do what you’re made to do. be who you’re made to be.

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