sometimes finding your people is just really tough.
I feel like especially as an adult, and as an introvert, it’s easier to get wrapped up in work, sleep, me-time, and chilling with my hubby… and trying to “make friends” just seems too hard and at the same time feels almost juvenile and something at which I’m terribly out of practice.
please tell me I can’t be the only one!
but at the same time, I crave those deep, meaningful friendships with people who just get it. I have that desperate desire for satisfying & inspiring conversation, for long coffee shop chats on rainy days, for those people that make up my life’s cheering section and stick around in silent solidarity when I have ALL the doubts & questions…
and, so slowly, I’ve begun to build that tribe, find my people, create that community. it’s taken a long time and a lot of work and I’m nowhere near complete, but there’s a slow consistency to it that gives me traction.
I thought I’d share with you the four main things I need to keep in mind as I’ve begun (and continue) to build my tribe ❤
expect the unexpected
I figured I’d start with my favorite 😉 right now, my tribe consists of the strangest, most inconvenient few ladies. and it’s wonderful. we don’t live near one another. I’ve met them online, known them for years, or befriended them out of awkward situations. my tribe looks nothing like what you might think… and yours probably won’t either. that’s just how it works. give your tribe permission to come together- whoever & however they are. be open to the reality that the people who are meant to be yours may not look like what you’d pictured. be okay with long-distance, with the ones who are older or younger, with a tribe as diverse and wild and beautiful as the women in this world.
get a little brave
whether it’s getting vulnerable with someone you seem to be clicking with, reaching out to someone you adore on instagram, or taking a stale friendship to a new level, we all have a comfort zone that needs to be shaken up a bit. it’s only when we get brave that we get to reap the benefits & enjoy our people. community takes courage! if this matters enough to you, you will step out in faith to find your tribe… and you will find them.
if you’re forcing something that’s not meant to be, it’s always going to feel awkward and half-hazardly thrown together. you can be friends with just about anyone, but your tribe is special, and you’re allowed to be picky about who you share your story with. take your time. recognize that those who you decline to be in your tribe are just as important of decisions as those you do bond with.
prioritize your people
seriously. make your tribe your priority. this can be really tough if you’ve got a lot of long-distance gals like I do! plan your skype dates & guard them religiously. don’t forget to text them and see how they’re doing. put important things (like their job interviews or anniversaries or stressful doctors appointments) into your calendar so you don’t miss out on those important moments in their lives. make your closeness a priority. let them know how valued they are. send them little things so they know you’re thinking of them. once you’ve got them, don’t let them go.
bonus: have patience
I firmly believe my tribe is not yet complete. it will be in flux for the rest of my life probably. some people arrive to us for seasons, and then continue on. sometimes, finding your tribe is a long, achy process. don’t rush it. lean into the waiting. trust that you will be given the right people at the right time, and that it will be good.
how else do you cultivate tribe in your life?
how do you know when you’ve got the right people?
let me know in the comments! ❤