you know what sucks?
you know what’s awesome?
yup. I’m a walking contradiction. (which, by the way, we all are.)
and let me be real: while I know forgiveness is something I’ll be glad for after the fact… in those moments of hurt and pain, I just don’t wanna.
can you identify? (don’t you dare say no, ya little liar!)
because on days like today, when I’m still reaping the consequences of someone else’s cruel decisions, I feel a bit like praying for lightning bolts.
you see, sometimes the pain lingers for longer than you’d like. sometimes the wounds inflicted upon you get infected. sometimes the consequences of their bad choices are yours to pay for a while. and it’s not fair. and it sucks.
and that’s when I feel like praying a David prayer…
“Let death stalk my enemies; let the grave swallow them alive, for evil makes its home within them.” Psalm 55:15
and sometimes that’s when I do pray a David prayer. because, call me melodramatic if you wish, but I’m not perfect, y’all. and neither are you.
see, I’m currently in the middle of a situation that was inflicted upon me by a doctor that isn’t worthy of the title. she denied me care I asked for, bullied me into unnecessary and expensive tests, refused to refill an important prescription once she found out I was switching offices, withheld my medical records from me, and didn’t make things clear enough to allow me to make an informed decision about crucial health issues. the (wonderful & amazing) doctor I’m at now literally called her immoral. and, because of this careless and cruel woman, I’m now stuck with a medication that is expensive and one of the most notorious to wean off of, not to mention I’m a few hundred dollars short of what I should have in my bank account.
and I want to pray for lightning bolts.
she’s an enemy if I ever had one.
and yet, while I was still His enemy… “He was sentenced to death because of [Moriah’s] sins and raised to life to justify [me].” Romans 4:25 **the Moriah Avrick Version**
please, by no means see this truth as a pat answer. this by no means makes forgiveness easier, but it makes forgiveness possible. it makes forgiveness unconditional. it makes forgiveness sacrificial.
after all… this is the heart of forgiveness, that the godly would sacrifice all for the ungodly to be right with Him.
that the gracious would sacrifice all for the graceless to be forgiven.
that the hopeful would sacrifice all for the hopeless to be cleansed.
that the faithful would sacrifice all for the faithless to be touched.
no more lightning bolts.
we need more forgiveness.
keep. fighting. to. forgive.