they say the first year of marriage is the hardest.
it was always implied to me, that it’s hard because you’re trying to figure out how to be married.
or that you’re not really getting along because you’re not used to marriage yet.
I’ve heard stories of screaming and crying and spouses being exiled to the couch.
that wasn’t true for us.
while things weren’t always perfect, for the most part, marriage fit us like a glove.
it was all the other stuff that has made our first year of marriage a bit of a hellish year.
losing a job
amazing new job falling through at the very last minute
moving into my parents’ basement
buying a new mattress / boxspring because of the bedbugs
my anxiety and depression flaring up
paying for therapy
getting in my first fender bender
finding out my medication is $200 a month
hearing “no” from jobs we applied to
it’s been the wildest ride I could imagine, and I’m so thankful for it.
but it is hard.
harder when you realize your husband’s birthday and your anniversary are coming up, almost within a week of one another, and the only reason you’re going out to eat is because a customer gave your husband a $20 olive garden gift card.
hardest when you’re trying to pay for medication, and the little old lady behind you slips you a $20 because you’re trying to figure out how many pills you can get for the $60 in your hand.
I’m truly, honestly not looking for pity here.
I’m just trying to be very real with you when I say, with all of my heart, that God is so good.
when I tell you, that I’ve learned I can say that, and believe it the deepest places of myself, even when the bank account is grim and I don’t see a way out.
when I tell you that it’s true because goodness is who God is, and that doesn’t depend on what my life looks like.
when I tell you that life is lighter when your heart is resting on the great goodness of a good God.
when I tell you that if Jesus is your life, then life is good because God is good, because everything is measured by His standards… not ours… of what goodness looks like.
let’s stop praising His goodness only when life looks how we want it to.
can we do that, friends?