the friday five | 5 ways christians should NOT respond to the supreme court marriage ruling

it’s official, ladies and gents.
what some of you have wished for and others of you have prayed against has happened.

same-sex marriage has been declared by the supreme court to be a fundamental right in the united states.

already I’ve seen both parties taking to facebook and instagram in displays of joy or worried-ness or relief or fury.

and already I’m seeing my fellow brothers and sisters do what they seem to do best in the world lately.


now I’m with you guys.
I define marriage the same way you do, brothers and sisters.
I’m married to the most splendid man in the world
and I believe it’s holy and lovely because of how God defines it.
Moriah + Joey_314
I believe that the Bible is always right.
I believe that God is always good.

but I think that in going on our little Christian soapbox, we’re leaving out a bunch of the Bible in pursuit of being right.

before you respond to this ruling publicly, before you unfollow your gay facebook friends, before you share a bunch of angry articles or take to the streets in protest, before you do something unwise… read this.

5 ways you should NOT respond to the supreme court marriage ruling
and yeah… I’ve seen ’em all.

1. the “we’re right, you’re not. na-na-na-na-boo-boo” tactic.
uptight, uncaring, out-of-touch, and obnoxious is how this comes across. none of us are perfect. no sin is a “worse” sin. some simply have more visible consequences. take a moment and remember a time when someone acted like this towards you when you were in the wrong. just because they had the right answer didn’t mean you wanted to listen to them. no one likes their nose rubbed in their actions. and no one listens to a know-it-all.

2. the “oh, how america has fallen! oh woe are we!” sob-fest.
just so you know, God never chose america. God chose israel, and God has chosen His own. He’s still in the process of bringing His own to Himself. some of those chosen are unlikely candidates in our eyes. (that’s the amazing untidiness of God’s grace, by the way.) the culture will be the culture. why should we expect anything else? instead of creating an emotional explosion on social media, go love somebody and change america through bringing people to Jesus.

3. the “you horrible sinners. you are wrong about everything. (insert angry, hurtful words here)” tactic.
remember the story of Jesus and the prostitute who got caught? everybody was trying to throw stones at her, and He stopped them. the person we’re claiming these hateful words for stopped his own people from maiming an outcast. I hope and pray that’s what this post might do for someone. He loved her and protected her and spoke kindness and grace to her. and after (and only after) she was convinced of His love and care for her (shown by drastic action at possible cost to himself!!) did he tell her to “go and sin no more”. calling an unsaved person out on their actions is not your job. loving them to Jesus and letting the Holy Spirit convict them is your job.

4. the [insert out of context verse to prove a point] tactic.
just don’t do this. this is silly. and also super wrong. the end. in fact, if you’d like to post a verse on facebook today, try one of these:
romans 5:8
1 john 4:7
1 john 3:18
proverbs 10:12
ephesians 4:1-2

5. the “I disregard your feelings because I’m really focused on the fact that you’re wrong.” tactic.
this is inhuman. I think that a lot of times, those who use this tactic don’t really grasp that they’re doing it. I like to hope that, at least. practice empathy. put yourself in their shoes- really, truly. can you imagine not being able to marry someone you love with all your heart? I can imagine that would be torture. embrace that empathy and love that person sincerely.

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Galatians 5:13

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