two thousand fifteen // the year is new

hello, january.
hello, you new year.

you entered in our quiet slumber, our bodies too weary to wait up for your arrival.
already you’ve been washed in coffee spills and frustrated tears.
somehow you’ve yet, by this time, been un-romanced in sleepy mornings and twangs of pointed protest in aching spines.
our thrill of hope from Christmas Day has waned slightly in the grand foreboding of your outrageous “new you” promises.
yes, by now there has been disappointment in you.

and yet, you’ve brought gentle, stolen, quiet moments in all your wild busy.
yes, how precious the gentle, stolen, quiet has been…
the swathing of our weary souls in the bandages of tender laughter in honest conversation.
you’ve helped me bring the comfort of God-order into our simple space.
there have been sweet, soft rifts from the hands of my husband on new strings… familiar hands playing old songs…
you’ve brought rush. excitement. belly-laughs.
hours and hours and hours holding hands behind the dashboard of a used old ford.
crashing choruses in happy-cramped upper rooms.
sweet-nothing moments of tender, squashed in between the blaring screams of excitement.
falling showers of bitter-cold, cleansing rain, which we’ve been often to exhausted to let wash us clean.

oh january… how versatile you’ve heretofore been.

how breathless you’re already leaving me.
how much more?

to be truthful, you’re here, and I’m sitting in fourteen, still, blinking in the wait for me shock that comes with the sleepy and the busy.
but still, I’m heavy-breathing, breath-holding on the edge of hopeful- what will this year create?
what will Yahweh create this year?

and we’re all stacking up our resolutions like building blocks- stamping out this year like a home for our folly. and so am I. yes, darling, I am too. and we’re all abandoning our human-hearted good intentions like the ring-stained coffee cup sitting in the back seat of the car. and the cough-drop pride-soother of february promises it’s okay.

oh, dearest. here’s the truth…

where there is no vision, the people perish
// proverbs 29:18 //

are we perishing?
ur coffee-cup-ring lives are fragile, love.
where is the vision in our petty resolutions?
why are we so resolute in the ordinary?
where is the heart-aching desire for the extraordinary thrill of holy?
(are there resolutions for that?)
where is the chasing-after and pursuit of glory-perspective?

where is the vision?

oh, that Yahweh, the Holy One, would break our hearts- our lives if He must -to fit the weight of glory in.
oh, that our simple lives would be blown open by the wild experience of grace- that our patched-up lives would be broken hard for His Name.
oh, that the stupid thoughts of useless moments would be pushed away by the hard drive of righteousness, bleeding from the truth which we must seek after daily.
oh, that in calm and quiet, our souls would be drawn to perfection in the presence of He who shines the light of the world.
oh, that the very breaths we breathe might remind us of the star-breather… the galaxy-speaker…
oh, that our heart would yearn less for materialism and more for the words of the Word… for the presence of our ever-present God.

oh, that our idols might be broken at the feet of the King.

this string of words and notes will break you…
Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols

Jerk the pews & all the decorations, too 

Until the congregations few, then have revival
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends 

Until you’re broken for your sins, you can’t be social
// jimmy needham //

this… this is a new year’s vision.

break our visions into goals and our goals into action- our actions into breathless moments of ceaseless praise.
lock up the vision.
keep it fast inside your heart.
remember this passion.
our God is a God of loyal jealousy.
I am in the slow re-making of no longer yearning to be a better wife, kinder woman… but a more holy follower.
for the others will be soon behind.

stop binding yourself to resolutions.
renew the Kingdom vision this year.

4 thoughts on “two thousand fifteen // the year is new

  1. I have gotten behind in reading your blog so I’m catching up today and boy am I glad I did! Totally needed to read this post of yours! Keep proclaiming!!


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